I Became A Father

I Became A Father

One of the purposes of marriage is to get offspring. How many people who are married really crave the presence of a child. There are those who after getting married the wife immediately gets pregnant, then the baby is born safely, there are also those who have been married for years but have not yet got offspring. Ironically there are those who are given the gift of children by the Almighty, but their children are thrown away, wasted or even killed. Even though children are our investment in the hereafter. In a hadith, the prophet Muhammad Sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam said about deeds that would not break the reward even though we had died one of them was a godly child who prayed for us as his parents. Then it is truly a loss if we have children but the child is actually wasted or not educated to be a godly child.

I am one of the lucky ones because God has given me offspring, thank God. And really amazing, so fast God gave me a child. Before I married my wife was menstruating, right on the wedding day my wife was not menstruating. A month later it turned out that my wife was not menstruating. Then my wife took a pregnancy test, the result was that she was positively pregnant. Allah is the Greatest. So soon God gave me the trust of a child. Pregnancy was a very hard time for my wife. My wife and I undergo long-distance relationships because I worked in another city. I usually went home every two weeks. My wife lived a fairly hard life, pregnant and far away from me. We know the condition of pregnant women, especially in the early days of pregnancy, frequent vomiting, appetite and others. Even my wife’s condition lasted for months, until the time of birth. At that time the Hajj season arrived. My parents left for Hajj. My mother hoped to leave Hajj with the first group so that when my wife gave birth she could accompany her. Qodarullah, my wife gave birth faster than expected.

Wednesday afternoon I left for the city where I worked. Thursday afternoon I got news from my sister if my wife was hospitalized. So on Friday morning I went home and went straight to the hospital. I arrived at the hospital on Friday afternoon. I got a story from my wife that yesterday she was sick, high heat. Then he went to the midwife because the midwife was worried about the condition of the baby in the womb of my wife so the midwife suggested that my wife was taken to the hospital. After being hospitalized the opposite condition happened to my wife and baby in her womb. If my wife’s condition improves, in contrast to the baby in my wife’s stomach, the baby’s condition declined. Finally, the doctor advised my wife to have a cesarean operation to take the baby. Sunday morning was the day of the operation. I, my sisters and my aunt waited outside the operating room. A moment later a baby crying. We were still waiting outside worriedly. Sometime later the doctor came out of the operating room and told us if the baby was born. Allahu akbar, thank God. Wow, amazing. Then the doctor asked me to report to the registration section. Immediately I ran to the registration section, I was asked by officers, the baby boy or girl? I’m confused because I didn’t know my son or daughter. Apparently so happy and happy, I forgot to ask the doctor, my son or daughter. Various feelings were mixed in me, this was how it felt to be a father. Even though there was a little worry because my child was born at the age of the womb which was only 7 months old. Yes, only 7 months. My child was born prematurely, a baby girl weighing only 19 ounces, was very small compared to other babies in a special baby room.

Do you have experience with premature babies?

When I Got Married

When I Got Married

Getting married is a means to legalize the relationship between a man and a woman. A man is forbidden from having a relationship with a woman who is not a mahram without a clear reason. In one verse, Allah forbids us from approaching adultery, because adultery is a very bad act. Approaching adultery alone should not let alone commit adultery, certainly more prohibited. The Prophet Muhammad also reminded us of approaching this adultery. He forbade a man to be alone with a woman who is not a mahram because surely Satan will tempt to do things that are forbidden. By marrying a man and woman’s relationship becomes lawful. After marriage men and women become mahram, they are free together everywhere, except to places that are forbidden, of course.

As I told you before, I got married on Sunday 12 April. Within a month or so of the first time I met the girl, I decided to marry her. Without dating and not much communication, let alone meet her. From the first acquaintance to before marriage I only met the girl twice, those were when I was acquainted and when I applied. I got married at the girl’s parents’ new home, a house that had just been built, a house that had never been occupied before. The wedding program was very simple. I went to the wedding venue with my family group on Sunday morning from home. There were my parents, my sisters and other families. The distance between my parents ‘house and the girl’s parents’ house was about 100 km. There was an event that was not heartening when traveling. I chose the wrong road, got into a dead end, was forced to turn back to the original road. Understandably, I haven’t memorized the way to the girl’s house. Finally, I arrived at the girl’s parents’ new home. A small, simple house, so it cannot accommodate a large number of guests present. The solemnization of marriage (ijab kabul) went smoothly, thank God. It was at the time of the blessing that I really saw what the girl was like, beautiful, masyaaAllah.

Sunday, April 12, at around 10 am, I officially became a husband. The dowry was a book, as the request of the girl. Alhamdulillah. The program was over, my family’s group had returned home, but many guests were still present until late in the afternoon. After delivering my family’s entourage, I returned to my new family. It felt strange, awkward, confused. Because only a few people I knew. Even with my own wife. The foreign woman who is now my wife. The moment of the first night I was still awkward, sleeping with her. I couldn’t sleep until morning. Then what did I do with my wife? We just chat, got to know each other. That was all. Really didn’t know what to do.
How about your first night?

Mate Is In The Hands Of Allah

Mate Is In The Hands Of Allah

Mate is the secret of the Almighty. No matter how strong our efforts get a mate, but if indeed it is not our share, it will not be ours. We just try, the results are surrendered to the Almighty. After March 9, I met the family of the girl and then told my parents what steps should be taken next. So my parents suggested that on March 15 I and my parents went to the girl’s house, submit an application, khitbah. Between those times I and the girl rarely communicated, only occasionally texting related to the next plan. Including my plans and my parents to make a proposal on March 15, I informed the girl.

According to the agreement dated March 15, my parents and my brother-in-law accompanied me to the girl’s house. But we were asked to go to his brother’s house only, the place was more spacious. The four of us left on motorcycles while enjoying the view of the mountains and the cool air of the mountains. Around 10 am we arrived there. We went straight to her brother’s house. There we were greeted by the girl, her parents, and family. On that day I could see what the girl was like, so that day was the second time I saw the girl, after the first one when I was acquainted. After introducing themselves to each other, then my father conveyed our intentions and purpose to come to the girl’s house. In essence, my father applied for the girl to be my wife. And … it turned out that our application was accepted, then at the same time my father asked when the date of the wedding. After the discussion was finally set April 12 as the date of my marriage with the girl. Wow, I would get married soon … I did not imagine before, the process of getting married was fast. Praise God. Walhamdulillaah, all praise is only God’s. He is the one who regulates everything. He is the Almighty over all things. Only to Him will we worship and only to Him will we ask for help.

Yes, I got married on April 12 with a girl I had not known before. We didn’t date before. After the proposal accepted we did not communicate except for preparations for marriage. So until my wedding day, I only saw what my prospective wife was like twice. How could that be? Married to an unknown person, not dating, meeting only twice. I don’t know, all because of the will of the Almighty. I just hope that this girl is my soul mate, can jointly build a household, have a godly offspring, and be able to go to heaven with family. Amen …

Did I Found My Girl?

Did I Found My Girl?

Even though I refused the offer given by my friends, they still tried to find a wife for me. Then a friend asked for the address of my parents’ house, he wanted to send a girl’s biodata through the post office. I gave the address of my parents’ house via SMS. Usually, my friend if he offered a girl will give the girl’s first news via SMS, this even immediately asked for a home address without giving information about the girl. Then the girl’s biodata was sent to my home address. The first day and the second day the letter hasn’t arrived. The third day the letter hasn’t arrived yet. My friend every day asked if the letter has arrived. Understandably my parents lived in the village, so it took days to send mail to the home address. The sixth day of the letter hasn’t arrived yet. My friend was also still diligently asking for his letter. I said if the letter hasn’t arrived today then tomorrow I would look for the letter at the nearest post office. It turned out that the letter arrived at my home in the afternoon. Then I read the letter containing the biodata of a girl. Wow, this was interesting. I then sent an SMS message to my friend if I was interested in this girl. So the time and place were arranged so that I could meet with the girl.

The time and place have been determined by my friend so that I could meet and acquaintance (ta’aruf) with the girl. I still remember the day and date. Sunday, March 1 afternoon. So that day I went to the agreed place, the house which was rented by my friend. Don’t imagine if we met face to face, sat close together and talked together, no, I was accompanied by my friend, while the girl was accompanied by my friend’s wife, and even then we talked behind the hijab. My friend started the conversation and explained the purpose of the meeting there. After that I was given the opportunity to talk with the girl together, we asked each other to get to know each other more, but I just glanced at her, I was embarrassed to see her. Even though it should be my chance to know more about her. From that meeting, I began to be strong to get to know her further. The following week I planned to visit her home, meet with her family.

On March 8, my friends and community had activities somewhere, traveling on motorcycles. Then stay at the house of one of my friends’ houses. On March 9 we returned home, but on my trip, I separated myself from the group. I invited one of my friends who was a pillion to accompany me. When I arrived at a gas station I told my friend: wear neat clothes, huh? My friend didn’t understand what I meant but he just followed my request. After that, I went to the house of the older brother of the girl, because I was asked to come to the house of her brother. Arriving at her brother’s house I met the older brother of the girl. My friend I invited just understood what I really wanted. I met the brother of the girl, conversing many things. Then I was invited to the home of the girl’s parents. A very simple house containing a simple family, only one plot with a size of no more than 8 x 6 meters. I became acquainted with the girl’s parents, conversing many things. I was increasingly interested in this family. But I did not meet with the girl. She said she was sick, so she could not see me. Then what is my next story? Did I finally marry the girl?

When I Wanted To Marry

When I Wanted To Marry

Married is one of the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam. For young people who have been able to get married, the Prophet Muhammad was ordered to get married soon. Likewise for parents who have a daughter, if there is someone who has a good religion who wants to marry his daughter then it is advisable to accept the proposal.
Then what about me? I had a desire to get married at the age of 25 years. Qodarullah my wish is not achieved. Because my condition was not established at that time, so my parents did not give my blessing. Finally, I decided I would not discuss marriage until I was really ready. If someone offered me a woman to marry then I refused.

One day I worked in one city. A few months working there I was convicted of gallstone disease, the doctor advised me to take the gallstones surgery. After undergoing surgery I rested at home for a while to recover from the condition. On that occasion, it crossed my mind to get married. While the time was still loose during the recovery period and has not returned to work. If I have returned to work later, I would be busy with work again.

I conveyed my desire to get married to my friend. I said if I want to get married, I asked him for help if there is an acquaintance of a woman whom I have never known before and matches with me so I would marry her. I didn’t want to if I have known the woman before. I also conveyed this to my other friends. Then there were some friends began to offer me women who were ready for marriage. A friend offered me a widow with a child, I didn’t want to, because I wanted a girl. There are also those who offer me women older than me, I also didn’t want to, I wanted women who are younger than me. There was another who offered me a woman whose house was far away, across the island. I didn’t want to, I felt sorry for my parents if they have a distant daughter-in-law. Then my first friend gave me the biodata of a girl, incidentally, at that time, I played at my friend’s house. I read the girl’s biodata, it was very interesting, but when I arrived at the latest writing about her activities, I backed away. I did not want to marry an activist woman, because I was worried that with her busy life it will reduce family time. The criterion of the woman I wanted was a girl, younger than me, her house was not too far from my parents’ house, not richer than me, and of course a godly woman. Then which woman did I marry?

The Day Of Gallstone Operation

The Day Of Gallstone Operation

The day had come. The day I was operated on in one of the hospitals in the third city, the operation of taking gallstones. I arrived at the hospital during the day. The operation was in the afternoon. Accompanied by parents, younger siblings, uncles, aunts and other relatives, I headed to the operating room. This was the first time I have had an operation, even this was the first time I had to be hospitalized. How did it feel to be operated on? I didn’t know, it didn’t feel at all. Because I was totally sedated.

The operation of taking gallstones started in the afternoon, took about 2 hours. One of my uncles became the family representative as a witness. When the doctor asked my uncle whether or not my gallbladder was taken, my uncle answered no. My uncle didn’t want my organs to decrease. My parents themselves did not dare to see the operation process, maybe they did not have the heart. Who were the parents who have the heart to see their children dissected?
Alhamdulillah, thank God, the operation went smoothly. A few hours after the operation I began to regain consciousness. When I saw the clock, it was almost midnight. I was alone in one of the rooms. Tried to recall what just happened. The last thing I remembered, I was invited to chat by a nurse, then they injected something. After that, I no longer knew what had happened. Apparently, it was an injection to anesthetize me. Sometime later I was invited to chat again by the nurse, questioned by them, maybe to know the level of my awareness. Until finally, I was fully aware, my parents, younger siblings and other family entered my room. Something strange I felt with my nose like something was blocking. It turned out that there was a small hose that was inserted through my nose, I did not know what for when taken by the nurse it turned out that the hose was quite long. I thought the hose was just short, rather surprised me.

Then what about the gallstones? I was shown the gallstones that had been taken, it turns out there were 3 small stones, the size of the diameter was about 1 to 2 cm. The stones were very hard, it was just right to make my stomach hurt. Maybe it’s because they rubbed each other so that it made my stomach sore. I wondered how can there be 3 very small pieces of rock in my gallbladder? Until now I did not know the answer, because the doctor did not know the answer. He said it might occur due to certain cholesterol deposits. While from the laboratory check my cholesterol condition was still normal. The doctor advised me that if I wanted to find out more about the cause of the gallstones, the gallstones were taken to the laboratory for examination. But until now I have not worked on this suggestion, so I did not know the exact cause of gallstones. Or can any of you explain it to me?

Gallstones

Gallstones

One thing that is strange and has not been imagined by me what is gallstones. What I often hear is kidney stones. Because many cases have occurred regarding acquaintances affected by kidney stones, as for gallstones, it is very rare. Until finally, I experienced it myself, what are gallstones? Even some friends also asked what is gallstones? Someone said, maybe kidney stones. So I replied, gallstones. Different from kidney stones. I myself do not know what gallstones are. I also don’t know why I can get gallstones.

The story first when I was in college in one city, let’s call it the first city, several times I felt pain in the stomach. Pain like ulcer disease. I think it’s because my stomach had a relapse, I happen to have an ulcer disease. When the pain in my stomach relapsed until I was unable to stand up, my body felt weak, the most comfortable position of the body was lying down with the body folded like when it was cold. Besides that, cold sweat also came out. One day I ate something, suddenly my stomach started to feel sore. Relapsed. I think this might be because the food has expired, so it’s poisonous. I then asked my friend to find a young coconut. As far as I know, food poisoning is one of the medicines by drinking young coconut water. After drinking the young coconut water, my stomach did not immediately heal. It took about 1 hour for my stomach to begin to feel comfortable again. The occurrence of my stomach felt sore recurred several times. But I still considered it as an ordinary ulcer disease.

One time I worked in the second city. In the beginning, I worked there was no problem with my stomach. Until almost a year I worked in this second city, my stomach relapsed, sore, limp body, a cold sweat came out. Until finally I decided to see a doctor in the first city because I had an internal medicine doctor acquaintance in the first city. While in this second city I didn’t have a doctor’s acquaintance. I returned to the first city. I went to the doctor for a consultation. He advised me to check into the laboratory, USG. For the first time, I did a USG, as far as I know, the USG was to check a woman’s pregnancy (smile). I followed the doctor’s advice. I checked into the laboratory to do a USG with a letter of introduction from a doctor. I took the results of a laboratory examination to the doctor. He said there were stones in my bile, and had to be operated on. So this was where I just learned the term gallstones.

Finally, I established myself to do surgery, to carry out gallstones. I looked for a hospital in a third city that was closed to my home. I consulted the doctor at the hospital when I could do the surgery. And the decision from the doctor of the hospital the next day I was operated on. When viewed from the outside, I didn’t really look like a sick person, who even needed surgery. I still looked healthy, fit and healthy, still took the time to look at ailing aunt. So that many people didn’t expect me to be operated on.
What is the next story?

To be continued

I Found Him

I Found Him

I ventured to send a message to him, asked what he wanted to do next. Wanted to continue the ta’aruf process or not. Unexpected the answer came, he wanted to continue the ta’aruf process. He asked my home address, wanted to visit home & introduce himself to my family. I was confused after receiving the message, what should I do? How if my parents reject it ?? Whereas my condition was really not good at that time. I asked my father to take me home, went to the doctor & got a rest at home. Anyway, I had to be healthy first, whatever happened, I had to be ready.

Finally, he came home with his friend. I couldn’t meet with him because my condition was still weak, I just heard from my room. Do you know what surprised me? My father accepted the proposal. Subhanallah walhamdulillaah wallohu Akbar .. Alhamdulillaah, all praise just for Allah … something amazing happened to me. When I have lost hope, only Allah was my last hope, and then Allah gave the answer …surprised, happy & emotion mixed up at that time. When it was immediately my pain turned into pleasure … it turned out that with this pain, Allah wanted to make it easy.

A week later he came home with his parents and brother-in-law. Came to do a formal marriage application and to determine the date of the wedding. they set the date 12 April 2009 as our wedding date. The process was so fast, maasyaaAllah, one month from the first we met. At that time I was 23 years old, and my husband was 29 years old. Believe it or not, we married without being based on love. we married because of Allah, insyaaAllah. And thank God we now have 3 children, 1 daughter, and 2 sons.
That’s the story from my wife. Her story about how she met and married me. Yes, we didn’t know each other before, and then we met and married. We were married without dating before. How it can? Because our religion forbids us for dating before marriage. Thank god that we can do that.

And then how about my own story? I will tell you later, insyaaAllah.

My love Is not an Ordinary Love

My love Is not an Ordinary Love

This is a story from my wife, tell about how she met me and married me. Please read it.
The first time I met him when I graduated from college. There was no feeling at that time, just feeling nervous. The man I knew from two sheets of paper containing his personal data through a child guardian who I taught at the time. a week after getting his data, we finally met. Don’t imagine we met sitting together, face to face and chatting casually … we sat in a different room, bounded by walls. only the door with curtains as our connection. We were accompanied by our friends. question by question said to each other. to got to know each other and eliminate doubts between us. until the time came we had to meet face to face, yes we met face to face for about 5 minutes. Don’t imagine we are eye contact … we are given time to take turns to see each other.

After that meeting, I didn’t know what would happen. I surrender everything to God. Hopefully, if he was the best mate for me, then given the ease until the marriage later. I thought nothing at that time because I was desperate. The despair of getting a godly husband. I had done this process several times, the ta’aruf process (the process of getting to know one another to continue to marriage in Islam). All of them failed because my parents didn’t want to accept the prospective husband I introduced. Some had come home to get to know my family, but my parents did not agree. therefore, for this ta’aruf process, I have been pessimistic. Never mind if indeed I was not permitted to marry. Despair continued to haunt me …even though the hope continued in my heart. Hoping to God that I would be given the best husband. I was afraid of not be approved by parents, hoped to get the best mate, feeling pessimistic about my condition at that time. I’m not a beautiful, rich, or smart girl. I’m just an ordinary girl, from a poor family. Who wanted to make me his wife ?? Yeah, there’s nothing I could count on.

I returned to where I was teaching, I lived there because I could not afford to rent a house. Went home with mixed feelings. I didn’t know, what would happen to my life. I surrender to Allah. I didn’t want to bother with the meeting, I gave up. Whatever happened, it must be the best for me. Day after day … I continued to pray and pray istiharoh … after returned from the meeting, I felt sick, vomited, dizzy, could not eat at all. Every time there was food or drink that entered, immediately vomited. Just standing up for prayer I was unable. until exactly one week after the meeting, I was curious about what the man would do. Because I was desperate, if I had died then at least I knew what the man would do.

The Second Appearance Of Genie I Saw

The Second Appearance Of Genie I Saw

The second strange event occurred on the day of graduation in high school. I took a photo of one of my male friends in front of the school office. Nothing happened there. I took a photo with a manual camera. So you couldn’t see the result unless it’s printed. After the results were printed, I didn’t really pay attention to the photo. I just saved it.

When I was in college, I saw the photo in my book. At first, it was normal, but after I looked it carefully, it turned out there was something strange. On the reflection of the glass in the school office window, there was something odd. The reflection of the glass should reflect what was in front of it, but this was different. What should be reflected were pine trees and basketball courts. but the one reflected in the window panes was the two gates liked the Hindu temple with some people wearing traditional clothes. How could anyone at the graduation ceremony dress like that? Because we have to wear the same uniform, that was black and white with a scarf. Even in the performance, there was no dress like that.

I tried to recall what was actually in front of the school office, there was no gate like the results of the photo. Or was this because of a typo? But how could it be ?? Nothing wrong with the other photos excepted this one. Once again I didn’t want to bother with this strange thing. People wore kebaya and brought like offerings on an offering altar. I tried to ask my boarding friends, did they see what I saw in the photo? Or was this just my hallucinations? And it turned out they also saw the same thing. Meaned that there was something wrong with the photo. The longer I was curious the more disturbed my mind. Finally, I decided to burn the photo. The story hasn’t ended here.

A friend next to the room often experienced strange things, she asked me to pray (ruqyah) for her. I read the verses of the Qur’an to her. She felt hot in several parts of her body. Oh, maybe it meant she has indicated there was a disturbance of the genie/satan in her. She told me that she often drove her neighbours to go to shamans. Yes, some people’s trust often went to a shaman, even though it was shirk. Religion forbids us to associate Allah with anything. Actually, it was the second time I had “ruqyah” someone. The first time when ruqyah together with clerics. Okay, continue the story. When I had ruqyah to her, nothing strange happened. She just felt the heat. Strange things happened on the night. In my dream, I got a genie/satan disorder. I have tried to read the verses of the Qur’an but the genie did not want to go. Need the struggle to escape the disturbance. I had forgotten what kind of interference I was getting, but they tried to make me afraid of their existence. Finally, I decided not to continue to had a ruqyah for her. At that time I did not have the courage to continue. After that, there was no incident or nightmare to me. Well, the story may be boring because there were no creepy incidents or genie sightings… actually, there was an apparition, only white shadows in the hallway of the room. Ah maybe it was just someone wearing mukena, I thought.

To be continued…