When I Got Married

When I Got Married

Getting married is a means to legalize the relationship between a man and a woman. A man is forbidden from having a relationship with a woman who is not a mahram without a clear reason. In one verse, Allah forbids us from approaching adultery, because adultery is a very bad act. Approaching adultery alone should not let alone commit adultery, certainly more prohibited. The Prophet Muhammad also reminded us of approaching this adultery. He forbade a man to be alone with a woman who is not a mahram because surely Satan will tempt to do things that are forbidden. By marrying a man and woman’s relationship becomes lawful. After marriage men and women become mahram, they are free together everywhere, except to places that are forbidden, of course.

As I told you before, I got married on Sunday 12 April. Within a month or so of the first time I met the girl, I decided to marry her. Without dating and not much communication, let alone meet her. From the first acquaintance to before marriage I only met the girl twice, those were when I was acquainted and when I applied. I got married at the girl’s parents’ new home, a house that had just been built, a house that had never been occupied before. The wedding program was very simple. I went to the wedding venue with my family group on Sunday morning from home. There were my parents, my sisters and other families. The distance between my parents ‘house and the girl’s parents’ house was about 100 km. There was an event that was not heartening when traveling. I chose the wrong road, got into a dead end, was forced to turn back to the original road. Understandably, I haven’t memorized the way to the girl’s house. Finally, I arrived at the girl’s parents’ new home. A small, simple house, so it cannot accommodate a large number of guests present. The solemnization of marriage (ijab kabul) went smoothly, thank God. It was at the time of the blessing that I really saw what the girl was like, beautiful, masyaaAllah.

Sunday, April 12, at around 10 am, I officially became a husband. The dowry was a book, as the request of the girl. Alhamdulillah. The program was over, my family’s group had returned home, but many guests were still present until late in the afternoon. After delivering my family’s entourage, I returned to my new family. It felt strange, awkward, confused. Because only a few people I knew. Even with my own wife. The foreign woman who is now my wife. The moment of the first night I was still awkward, sleeping with her. I couldn’t sleep until morning. Then what did I do with my wife? We just chat, got to know each other. That was all. Really didn’t know what to do.
How about your first night?

Mate Is In The Hands Of Allah

Mate Is In The Hands Of Allah

Mate is the secret of the Almighty. No matter how strong our efforts get a mate, but if indeed it is not our share, it will not be ours. We just try, the results are surrendered to the Almighty. After March 9, I met the family of the girl and then told my parents what steps should be taken next. So my parents suggested that on March 15 I and my parents went to the girl’s house, submit an application, khitbah. Between those times I and the girl rarely communicated, only occasionally texting related to the next plan. Including my plans and my parents to make a proposal on March 15, I informed the girl.

According to the agreement dated March 15, my parents and my brother-in-law accompanied me to the girl’s house. But we were asked to go to his brother’s house only, the place was more spacious. The four of us left on motorcycles while enjoying the view of the mountains and the cool air of the mountains. Around 10 am we arrived there. We went straight to her brother’s house. There we were greeted by the girl, her parents, and family. On that day I could see what the girl was like, so that day was the second time I saw the girl, after the first one when I was acquainted. After introducing themselves to each other, then my father conveyed our intentions and purpose to come to the girl’s house. In essence, my father applied for the girl to be my wife. And … it turned out that our application was accepted, then at the same time my father asked when the date of the wedding. After the discussion was finally set April 12 as the date of my marriage with the girl. Wow, I would get married soon … I did not imagine before, the process of getting married was fast. Praise God. Walhamdulillaah, all praise is only God’s. He is the one who regulates everything. He is the Almighty over all things. Only to Him will we worship and only to Him will we ask for help.

Yes, I got married on April 12 with a girl I had not known before. We didn’t date before. After the proposal accepted we did not communicate except for preparations for marriage. So until my wedding day, I only saw what my prospective wife was like twice. How could that be? Married to an unknown person, not dating, meeting only twice. I don’t know, all because of the will of the Almighty. I just hope that this girl is my soul mate, can jointly build a household, have a godly offspring, and be able to go to heaven with family. Amen …

Did I Found My Girl?

Did I Found My Girl?

Even though I refused the offer given by my friends, they still tried to find a wife for me. Then a friend asked for the address of my parents’ house, he wanted to send a girl’s biodata through the post office. I gave the address of my parents’ house via SMS. Usually, my friend if he offered a girl will give the girl’s first news via SMS, this even immediately asked for a home address without giving information about the girl. Then the girl’s biodata was sent to my home address. The first day and the second day the letter hasn’t arrived. The third day the letter hasn’t arrived yet. My friend every day asked if the letter has arrived. Understandably my parents lived in the village, so it took days to send mail to the home address. The sixth day of the letter hasn’t arrived yet. My friend was also still diligently asking for his letter. I said if the letter hasn’t arrived today then tomorrow I would look for the letter at the nearest post office. It turned out that the letter arrived at my home in the afternoon. Then I read the letter containing the biodata of a girl. Wow, this was interesting. I then sent an SMS message to my friend if I was interested in this girl. So the time and place were arranged so that I could meet with the girl.

The time and place have been determined by my friend so that I could meet and acquaintance (ta’aruf) with the girl. I still remember the day and date. Sunday, March 1 afternoon. So that day I went to the agreed place, the house which was rented by my friend. Don’t imagine if we met face to face, sat close together and talked together, no, I was accompanied by my friend, while the girl was accompanied by my friend’s wife, and even then we talked behind the hijab. My friend started the conversation and explained the purpose of the meeting there. After that I was given the opportunity to talk with the girl together, we asked each other to get to know each other more, but I just glanced at her, I was embarrassed to see her. Even though it should be my chance to know more about her. From that meeting, I began to be strong to get to know her further. The following week I planned to visit her home, meet with her family.

On March 8, my friends and community had activities somewhere, traveling on motorcycles. Then stay at the house of one of my friends’ houses. On March 9 we returned home, but on my trip, I separated myself from the group. I invited one of my friends who was a pillion to accompany me. When I arrived at a gas station I told my friend: wear neat clothes, huh? My friend didn’t understand what I meant but he just followed my request. After that, I went to the house of the older brother of the girl, because I was asked to come to the house of her brother. Arriving at her brother’s house I met the older brother of the girl. My friend I invited just understood what I really wanted. I met the brother of the girl, conversing many things. Then I was invited to the home of the girl’s parents. A very simple house containing a simple family, only one plot with a size of no more than 8 x 6 meters. I became acquainted with the girl’s parents, conversing many things. I was increasingly interested in this family. But I did not meet with the girl. She said she was sick, so she could not see me. Then what is my next story? Did I finally marry the girl?

When I Wanted To Marry

When I Wanted To Marry

Married is one of the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam. For young people who have been able to get married, the Prophet Muhammad was ordered to get married soon. Likewise for parents who have a daughter, if there is someone who has a good religion who wants to marry his daughter then it is advisable to accept the proposal.
Then what about me? I had a desire to get married at the age of 25 years. Qodarullah my wish is not achieved. Because my condition was not established at that time, so my parents did not give my blessing. Finally, I decided I would not discuss marriage until I was really ready. If someone offered me a woman to marry then I refused.

One day I worked in one city. A few months working there I was convicted of gallstone disease, the doctor advised me to take the gallstones surgery. After undergoing surgery I rested at home for a while to recover from the condition. On that occasion, it crossed my mind to get married. While the time was still loose during the recovery period and has not returned to work. If I have returned to work later, I would be busy with work again.

I conveyed my desire to get married to my friend. I said if I want to get married, I asked him for help if there is an acquaintance of a woman whom I have never known before and matches with me so I would marry her. I didn’t want to if I have known the woman before. I also conveyed this to my other friends. Then there were some friends began to offer me women who were ready for marriage. A friend offered me a widow with a child, I didn’t want to, because I wanted a girl. There are also those who offer me women older than me, I also didn’t want to, I wanted women who are younger than me. There was another who offered me a woman whose house was far away, across the island. I didn’t want to, I felt sorry for my parents if they have a distant daughter-in-law. Then my first friend gave me the biodata of a girl, incidentally, at that time, I played at my friend’s house. I read the girl’s biodata, it was very interesting, but when I arrived at the latest writing about her activities, I backed away. I did not want to marry an activist woman, because I was worried that with her busy life it will reduce family time. The criterion of the woman I wanted was a girl, younger than me, her house was not too far from my parents’ house, not richer than me, and of course a godly woman. Then which woman did I marry?

Get Married Without Love

Get Married Without Love

How can you get married without love?
Certainly can.
Our goal to get married is to obey Allah, maintain honor, follow the Sunnah of the Prophet, get the blessed offsprings.
Do you love your husband?
Of course, I love my husband … love based on love because of Allah insyaaAllah, and love because he loves me because Allah also … because he always tries to make me happy, accompany me, forgive me, obey my request, look after me and care for me when I’m sick, because he is the father of my children, he always makes me the best for him .. masyaa Allah … how much I love you, my husband. may Allah bless him.

When was the first time you fell in love with your husband?
The first time I fell in love with him was after our marriage. Maybe a little funny, at first I didn’t dare look at his face … even though he had become my husband. I still remember the beginning of our marriage, I did not memorize his face. I still did not dare to look at his face directly, I used to steal the sight of seeing him from a distance. I could only take 2 weeks off from school and had to go back to teach, so my husband had to go back to work outside the city. That time we used to date and get to know each other. Every two weeks he came home to see me. When he came home the first time, I was confused when I had to pick him up. I forgot his face … I finally opened the marriage certificate with a picture of him. So I was not wrong when I pick up my husband later.

One month of our marriage, I was late for menstruation. I tried a urine test, and it turns out that I was pregnant … confused, shocked, what should I do ?? How about this?? Just looked at my husband’s face I had not dared, let alone love him? Why was I pregnant? I still wanted to know him, fell in love with him, went out with him … I called him, I cried … I said that I was not ready to get pregnant … our marriage age was only for a while… I didn’t know you well … and he just answered: sorry … sorry … and sorry. Yeah, this was so funny … haha … just forget it. Isn’t the intention to marry to get offspring? Then why do I even cry when I know I’m pregnant ?? After I found out I was pregnant, I tried to vent myself to see his face. And when I first saw his face after returned from the mosque, somehow it felt strange, his face was like shining, his smile was really charming … my heart was beating fast … my face was hot, I was embarrassed … I immediately turned my face away … O Allah, whether was this name falling in love? He approached me, my heart beat faster. That was the first time I fell in love with my husband. Even now I still fall in love with him … I love You, my husband. May Allah keep our love, now and forever until to heaven. Amen

I Found Him

I Found Him

I ventured to send a message to him, asked what he wanted to do next. Wanted to continue the ta’aruf process or not. Unexpected the answer came, he wanted to continue the ta’aruf process. He asked my home address, wanted to visit home & introduce himself to my family. I was confused after receiving the message, what should I do? How if my parents reject it ?? Whereas my condition was really not good at that time. I asked my father to take me home, went to the doctor & got a rest at home. Anyway, I had to be healthy first, whatever happened, I had to be ready.

Finally, he came home with his friend. I couldn’t meet with him because my condition was still weak, I just heard from my room. Do you know what surprised me? My father accepted the proposal. Subhanallah walhamdulillaah wallohu Akbar .. Alhamdulillaah, all praise just for Allah … something amazing happened to me. When I have lost hope, only Allah was my last hope, and then Allah gave the answer …surprised, happy & emotion mixed up at that time. When it was immediately my pain turned into pleasure … it turned out that with this pain, Allah wanted to make it easy.

A week later he came home with his parents and brother-in-law. Came to do a formal marriage application and to determine the date of the wedding. they set the date 12 April 2009 as our wedding date. The process was so fast, maasyaaAllah, one month from the first we met. At that time I was 23 years old, and my husband was 29 years old. Believe it or not, we married without being based on love. we married because of Allah, insyaaAllah. And thank God we now have 3 children, 1 daughter, and 2 sons.
That’s the story from my wife. Her story about how she met and married me. Yes, we didn’t know each other before, and then we met and married. We were married without dating before. How it can? Because our religion forbids us for dating before marriage. Thank god that we can do that.

And then how about my own story? I will tell you later, insyaaAllah.

My love Is not an Ordinary Love

My love Is not an Ordinary Love

This is a story from my wife, tell about how she met me and married me. Please read it.
The first time I met him when I graduated from college. There was no feeling at that time, just feeling nervous. The man I knew from two sheets of paper containing his personal data through a child guardian who I taught at the time. a week after getting his data, we finally met. Don’t imagine we met sitting together, face to face and chatting casually … we sat in a different room, bounded by walls. only the door with curtains as our connection. We were accompanied by our friends. question by question said to each other. to got to know each other and eliminate doubts between us. until the time came we had to meet face to face, yes we met face to face for about 5 minutes. Don’t imagine we are eye contact … we are given time to take turns to see each other.

After that meeting, I didn’t know what would happen. I surrender everything to God. Hopefully, if he was the best mate for me, then given the ease until the marriage later. I thought nothing at that time because I was desperate. The despair of getting a godly husband. I had done this process several times, the ta’aruf process (the process of getting to know one another to continue to marriage in Islam). All of them failed because my parents didn’t want to accept the prospective husband I introduced. Some had come home to get to know my family, but my parents did not agree. therefore, for this ta’aruf process, I have been pessimistic. Never mind if indeed I was not permitted to marry. Despair continued to haunt me …even though the hope continued in my heart. Hoping to God that I would be given the best husband. I was afraid of not be approved by parents, hoped to get the best mate, feeling pessimistic about my condition at that time. I’m not a beautiful, rich, or smart girl. I’m just an ordinary girl, from a poor family. Who wanted to make me his wife ?? Yeah, there’s nothing I could count on.

I returned to where I was teaching, I lived there because I could not afford to rent a house. Went home with mixed feelings. I didn’t know, what would happen to my life. I surrender to Allah. I didn’t want to bother with the meeting, I gave up. Whatever happened, it must be the best for me. Day after day … I continued to pray and pray istiharoh … after returned from the meeting, I felt sick, vomited, dizzy, could not eat at all. Every time there was food or drink that entered, immediately vomited. Just standing up for prayer I was unable. until exactly one week after the meeting, I was curious about what the man would do. Because I was desperate, if I had died then at least I knew what the man would do.