My Child Was Born Prematurely

My Child Was Born Prematurely

The child is an investment in the hereafter, then the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam ordered us to multiple children. If we have many godly children, there are certainly many who will pray for us. But children also become a test for parents. How many parents are willing to sacrifice anything for their children, parents sacrifice their wealth, time, energy and everything so that their children are happy. Even there are parents who justify any means for the happiness of their children.

My first child was born prematurely through a cesarean section. This operation was performed after the condition of the baby in the womb has deteriorated. When my wife entered the hospital the baby’s heart rate was very fast, after a few days her heart rate weakened, even below normal. Then the cesarean section was a solution so that the baby was more easily monitored by her health than still in the womb. The womb age of my wife during a cesarean section was only seven months. The baby’s weight was 19 ounces. The baby was very small, so my wife and I were very worried about her condition. Because the baby’s weight was below normal, she was placed in an incubator. Initially the baby was not able to drink breast milk, after all, my wife’s breast milk was not smooth, so at first, the baby was given formula milk. Three days after birth, my wife was allowed to go home, but the baby was still being treated in an incubator. We were sad that we could not accompany the baby all the time. We could only visit our baby at certain times. We stayed at my aunt’s house because my aunt’s house was close to the hospital, so we could visit our baby at any time in the hospital. Our baby was treated in an incubator at the hospital for seven days. After seven days of treatment, our baby may be taken home provided that our baby was made an incubator at home. Then I asked my neighbor who was a carpenter to make a simple incubator, the important thing could be used to warm my baby.

After being treated for seven days in the hospital, our baby may be taken home. At first, we asked for help from the midwife to bathe our baby, after I felt my wife could do it herself, she bathed our baby. Every morning we were required to warm our babies in the sun. All my baby clothes were removed so that her whole body could be exposed to the sun. The doctor said so that our baby would not get jaundice. We were very lucky because our house was close to the midwife, so she could help us if needed.

Oh yes, when my baby was born my parents were performing the Hajj. We deliberately did not inform them not to disturb their concentration in carrying out the Hajj. We made a surprise for my parents. And when they came home from the Hajj, we welcomed them and told them that our baby was born. They were surprised and happy to see our baby. But there was also a little worry because our baby was very small.

Our advice to you who also have a premature baby, monitor the condition of your baby diligently, because premature babies sometimes have a condition that is lacking. For example our baby, it turns out there is a slight problem with her hearing. We only found out when our baby had grown up. So pay attention to your child’s condition well. Hopefully, our family is always healthy. Amen.

When I Got Married

When I Got Married

Getting married is a means to legalize the relationship between a man and a woman. A man is forbidden from having a relationship with a woman who is not a mahram without a clear reason. In one verse, Allah forbids us from approaching adultery, because adultery is a very bad act. Approaching adultery alone should not let alone commit adultery, certainly more prohibited. The Prophet Muhammad also reminded us of approaching this adultery. He forbade a man to be alone with a woman who is not a mahram because surely Satan will tempt to do things that are forbidden. By marrying a man and woman’s relationship becomes lawful. After marriage men and women become mahram, they are free together everywhere, except to places that are forbidden, of course.

As I told you before, I got married on Sunday 12 April. Within a month or so of the first time I met the girl, I decided to marry her. Without dating and not much communication, let alone meet her. From the first acquaintance to before marriage I only met the girl twice, those were when I was acquainted and when I applied. I got married at the girl’s parents’ new home, a house that had just been built, a house that had never been occupied before. The wedding program was very simple. I went to the wedding venue with my family group on Sunday morning from home. There were my parents, my sisters and other families. The distance between my parents ‘house and the girl’s parents’ house was about 100 km. There was an event that was not heartening when traveling. I chose the wrong road, got into a dead end, was forced to turn back to the original road. Understandably, I haven’t memorized the way to the girl’s house. Finally, I arrived at the girl’s parents’ new home. A small, simple house, so it cannot accommodate a large number of guests present. The solemnization of marriage (ijab kabul) went smoothly, thank God. It was at the time of the blessing that I really saw what the girl was like, beautiful, masyaaAllah.

Sunday, April 12, at around 10 am, I officially became a husband. The dowry was a book, as the request of the girl. Alhamdulillah. The program was over, my family’s group had returned home, but many guests were still present until late in the afternoon. After delivering my family’s entourage, I returned to my new family. It felt strange, awkward, confused. Because only a few people I knew. Even with my own wife. The foreign woman who is now my wife. The moment of the first night I was still awkward, sleeping with her. I couldn’t sleep until morning. Then what did I do with my wife? We just chat, got to know each other. That was all. Really didn’t know what to do.
How about your first night?

Did I Found My Girl?

Did I Found My Girl?

Even though I refused the offer given by my friends, they still tried to find a wife for me. Then a friend asked for the address of my parents’ house, he wanted to send a girl’s biodata through the post office. I gave the address of my parents’ house via SMS. Usually, my friend if he offered a girl will give the girl’s first news via SMS, this even immediately asked for a home address without giving information about the girl. Then the girl’s biodata was sent to my home address. The first day and the second day the letter hasn’t arrived. The third day the letter hasn’t arrived yet. My friend every day asked if the letter has arrived. Understandably my parents lived in the village, so it took days to send mail to the home address. The sixth day of the letter hasn’t arrived yet. My friend was also still diligently asking for his letter. I said if the letter hasn’t arrived today then tomorrow I would look for the letter at the nearest post office. It turned out that the letter arrived at my home in the afternoon. Then I read the letter containing the biodata of a girl. Wow, this was interesting. I then sent an SMS message to my friend if I was interested in this girl. So the time and place were arranged so that I could meet with the girl.

The time and place have been determined by my friend so that I could meet and acquaintance (ta’aruf) with the girl. I still remember the day and date. Sunday, March 1 afternoon. So that day I went to the agreed place, the house which was rented by my friend. Don’t imagine if we met face to face, sat close together and talked together, no, I was accompanied by my friend, while the girl was accompanied by my friend’s wife, and even then we talked behind the hijab. My friend started the conversation and explained the purpose of the meeting there. After that I was given the opportunity to talk with the girl together, we asked each other to get to know each other more, but I just glanced at her, I was embarrassed to see her. Even though it should be my chance to know more about her. From that meeting, I began to be strong to get to know her further. The following week I planned to visit her home, meet with her family.

On March 8, my friends and community had activities somewhere, traveling on motorcycles. Then stay at the house of one of my friends’ houses. On March 9 we returned home, but on my trip, I separated myself from the group. I invited one of my friends who was a pillion to accompany me. When I arrived at a gas station I told my friend: wear neat clothes, huh? My friend didn’t understand what I meant but he just followed my request. After that, I went to the house of the older brother of the girl, because I was asked to come to the house of her brother. Arriving at her brother’s house I met the older brother of the girl. My friend I invited just understood what I really wanted. I met the brother of the girl, conversing many things. Then I was invited to the home of the girl’s parents. A very simple house containing a simple family, only one plot with a size of no more than 8 x 6 meters. I became acquainted with the girl’s parents, conversing many things. I was increasingly interested in this family. But I did not meet with the girl. She said she was sick, so she could not see me. Then what is my next story? Did I finally marry the girl?

When I Wanted To Marry

When I Wanted To Marry

Married is one of the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam. For young people who have been able to get married, the Prophet Muhammad was ordered to get married soon. Likewise for parents who have a daughter, if there is someone who has a good religion who wants to marry his daughter then it is advisable to accept the proposal.
Then what about me? I had a desire to get married at the age of 25 years. Qodarullah my wish is not achieved. Because my condition was not established at that time, so my parents did not give my blessing. Finally, I decided I would not discuss marriage until I was really ready. If someone offered me a woman to marry then I refused.

One day I worked in one city. A few months working there I was convicted of gallstone disease, the doctor advised me to take the gallstones surgery. After undergoing surgery I rested at home for a while to recover from the condition. On that occasion, it crossed my mind to get married. While the time was still loose during the recovery period and has not returned to work. If I have returned to work later, I would be busy with work again.

I conveyed my desire to get married to my friend. I said if I want to get married, I asked him for help if there is an acquaintance of a woman whom I have never known before and matches with me so I would marry her. I didn’t want to if I have known the woman before. I also conveyed this to my other friends. Then there were some friends began to offer me women who were ready for marriage. A friend offered me a widow with a child, I didn’t want to, because I wanted a girl. There are also those who offer me women older than me, I also didn’t want to, I wanted women who are younger than me. There was another who offered me a woman whose house was far away, across the island. I didn’t want to, I felt sorry for my parents if they have a distant daughter-in-law. Then my first friend gave me the biodata of a girl, incidentally, at that time, I played at my friend’s house. I read the girl’s biodata, it was very interesting, but when I arrived at the latest writing about her activities, I backed away. I did not want to marry an activist woman, because I was worried that with her busy life it will reduce family time. The criterion of the woman I wanted was a girl, younger than me, her house was not too far from my parents’ house, not richer than me, and of course a godly woman. Then which woman did I marry?