Mate is the secret of the Almighty. No matter how strong our efforts get a mate, but if indeed it is not our share, it will not be ours. We just try, the results are surrendered to the Almighty. After March 9, I met the family of the girl and then told my parents what steps should be taken next. So my parents suggested that on March 15 I and my parents went to the girl’s house, submit an application, khitbah. Between those times I and the girl rarely communicated, only occasionally texting related to the next plan. Including my plans and my parents to make a proposal on March 15, I informed the girl.
According to the agreement dated March 15, my parents and my brother-in-law accompanied me to the girl’s house. But we were asked to go to his brother’s house only, the place was more spacious. The four of us left on motorcycles while enjoying the view of the mountains and the cool air of the mountains. Around 10 am we arrived there. We went straight to her brother’s house. There we were greeted by the girl, her parents, and family. On that day I could see what the girl was like, so that day was the second time I saw the girl, after the first one when I was acquainted. After introducing themselves to each other, then my father conveyed our intentions and purpose to come to the girl’s house. In essence, my father applied for the girl to be my wife. And … it turned out that our application was accepted, then at the same time my father asked when the date of the wedding. After the discussion was finally set April 12 as the date of my marriage with the girl. Wow, I would get married soon … I did not imagine before, the process of getting married was fast. Praise God. Walhamdulillaah, all praise is only God’s. He is the one who regulates everything. He is the Almighty over all things. Only to Him will we worship and only to Him will we ask for help.
Yes, I got married on April 12 with a girl I had not known before. We didn’t date before. After the proposal accepted we did not communicate except for preparations for marriage. So until my wedding day, I only saw what my prospective wife was like twice. How could that be? Married to an unknown person, not dating, meeting only twice. I don’t know, all because of the will of the Almighty. I just hope that this girl is my soul mate, can jointly build a household, have a godly offspring, and be able to go to heaven with family. Amen …
Even though I refused the offer given by my friends, they still tried to find a wife for me. Then a friend asked for the address of my parents’ house, he wanted to send a girl’s biodata through the post office. I gave the address of my parents’ house via SMS. Usually, my friend if he offered a girl will give the girl’s first news via SMS, this even immediately asked for a home address without giving information about the girl. Then the girl’s biodata was sent to my home address. The first day and the second day the letter hasn’t arrived. The third day the letter hasn’t arrived yet. My friend every day asked if the letter has arrived. Understandably my parents lived in the village, so it took days to send mail to the home address. The sixth day of the letter hasn’t arrived yet. My friend was also still diligently asking for his letter. I said if the letter hasn’t arrived today then tomorrow I would look for the letter at the nearest post office. It turned out that the letter arrived at my home in the afternoon. Then I read the letter containing the biodata of a girl. Wow, this was interesting. I then sent an SMS message to my friend if I was interested in this girl. So the time and place were arranged so that I could meet with the girl.
The time and place have been determined by my friend so that I could meet and acquaintance (ta’aruf) with the girl. I still remember the day and date. Sunday, March 1 afternoon. So that day I went to the agreed place, the house which was rented by my friend. Don’t imagine if we met face to face, sat close together and talked together, no, I was accompanied by my friend, while the girl was accompanied by my friend’s wife, and even then we talked behind the hijab. My friend started the conversation and explained the purpose of the meeting there. After that I was given the opportunity to talk with the girl together, we asked each other to get to know each other more, but I just glanced at her, I was embarrassed to see her. Even though it should be my chance to know more about her. From that meeting, I began to be strong to get to know her further. The following week I planned to visit her home, meet with her family.
On March 8, my friends and community had activities somewhere, traveling on motorcycles. Then stay at the house of one of my friends’ houses. On March 9 we returned home, but on my trip, I separated myself from the group. I invited one of my friends who was a pillion to accompany me. When I arrived at a gas station I told my friend: wear neat clothes, huh? My friend didn’t understand what I meant but he just followed my request. After that, I went to the house of the older brother of the girl, because I was asked to come to the house of her brother. Arriving at her brother’s house I met the older brother of the girl. My friend I invited just understood what I really wanted. I met the brother of the girl, conversing many things. Then I was invited to the home of the girl’s parents. A very simple house containing a simple family, only one plot with a size of no more than 8 x 6 meters. I became acquainted with the girl’s parents, conversing many things. I was increasingly interested in this family. But I did not meet with the girl. She said she was sick, so she could not see me. Then what is my next story? Did I finally marry the girl?
Married is one of the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam. For young people who have been able to get married, the Prophet Muhammad was ordered to get married soon. Likewise for parents who have a daughter, if there is someone who has a good religion who wants to marry his daughter then it is advisable to accept the proposal.
Then what about me? I had a desire to get married at the age of 25 years. Qodarullah my wish is not achieved. Because my condition was not established at that time, so my parents did not give my blessing. Finally, I decided I would not discuss marriage until I was really ready. If someone offered me a woman to marry then I refused.
One day I worked in one city. A few months working there I was convicted of gallstone disease, the doctor advised me to take the gallstones surgery. After undergoing surgery I rested at home for a while to recover from the condition. On that occasion, it crossed my mind to get married. While the time was still loose during the recovery period and has not returned to work. If I have returned to work later, I would be busy with work again.
I conveyed my desire to get married to my friend. I said if I want to get married, I asked him for help if there is an acquaintance of a woman whom I have never known before and matches with me so I would marry her. I didn’t want to if I have known the woman before. I also conveyed this to my other friends. Then there were some friends began to offer me women who were ready for marriage. A friend offered me a widow with a child, I didn’t want to, because I wanted a girl. There are also those who offer me women older than me, I also didn’t want to, I wanted women who are younger than me. There was another who offered me a woman whose house was far away, across the island. I didn’t want to, I felt sorry for my parents if they have a distant daughter-in-law. Then my first friend gave me the biodata of a girl, incidentally, at that time, I played at my friend’s house. I read the girl’s biodata, it was very interesting, but when I arrived at the latest writing about her activities, I backed away. I did not want to marry an activist woman, because I was worried that with her busy life it will reduce family time. The criterion of the woman I wanted was a girl, younger than me, her house was not too far from my parents’ house, not richer than me, and of course a godly woman. Then which woman did I marry?